I live in London now. This is a very traditional society that the same time wants to be modern in some things like advertising, TV, arts, fashion…but the family values are old fashioned.
The place seems to think that the main idea of a womans life to find “a good man”. Which means the man should be a bit older than her, a bit taller than her, very rich and not beat her. If these are ok, he is acceptable and the dream guy. There is no looks demands like in Scandinavia, the thick wallet wins them all.
When you have found your Mr. Right, you then jump in, take your roles as Mr. and Mrs. and begin playing the Happy Couple – because that is what everyone here wants to be. The happy couple is always together, jumps through life hand in hand. Eats together, sleeps together, sits on sofa together watching movies, has a cup of tea together. If the other part is more than 10 meters from you, everyone is asking “where is your wife/where is your husband.” Living like that is called happily ever after…
I am a Scandinavian and have luckily always been able to be my own individual person, instead of being counted in couples, like here. Being single here is not considered something that is nice, free and enjoyable (as I think) (even if they say so to be polite). Instead it is something you should get rid of as soon as possible and even if they of course never say it, they think not “managing to bind down” someone is really a sign of a loser.
If I say that since I have been married a couple of times and living together a couple of times and meeting many people, I just want to keep my freedom because I love deciding myself, they actually do not believe it even if they nod and smile. Because in their world, a marriage is the main target of every ladys life….yes you read it, a womans target and while a man should try to avoid it until someone “catches” him???
This is what one magazine said are things that make a “happy couple”.
1. They to bed the same time
When living with my ex. I wanted to write during the evening and night, he wanted to go to bed early…..he woke up early and I did not want to be woken up very early in the morning if I absolutely do not have to. He made a big number out of me not coming to bed the same time as him (even if our love life was otherwise very good)..and when I was sleeping the best, he woke up and was irritating happy trying to wake me up.
I trulty detest people who are too happy too early in the morning. ..grr.
2. They have, or find, common interests
Of course some shared interests are good (like watching Downton Abbey or playing cards) but not the Scottish way where the “happy couple” are never more than five meters from each other. The happy couple sits on the sofa the same time, goes to shop together, sits in the car together, watches tv together, turns brain-dead together because no other interests than common ones are allowed. And if you go to the city without your other half, everyone you meet will ask “Where is your husband?” “Where is your wife?”. I have really difficult when someone considers me as “half a couple”, not as my own person.
3. They touch each other
It is nice to touch each other, hold hands, hug or cuddle, buy small presets but even if you like each other very much it is not nice for others sitting by the same table with couples eating each others faces in public. Get a room!
4. They dont fight over meaningless things
Everybody does, dont they? But rather than fighting, talk.
5. They kiss each other good bye and say I love you
It is important that people feel loved and appreciated. Small things make a big difference.
6. They dont forget to give attention to each other
Never be too busy to give some attention to each other. Be happy if you love someone and they love you back. That does not mean you have to own them or they have to own you, but treasure the good moments.
7. They have date nights
it is important not to forget to talk to each other but if you do the things only for Instagram, forget it. Do it just for each other. Give attention, put your best outfit on for him / her, invest in each other if you like each other. Is it not natural to do this if you really do?
8. They break routines
A relation should not feel like a routine. If everything does look the same all the time, change it. Be spontaneous, surprise each other!
9. They put away their phones and see each other
Put away your phones, look at each other, focus on each other, relax together. You do not have to look at Facebook every 15 minutes. Talk.
So now you are a happy couple. Then what?