Blonde.st

The world through Scandi eyes

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Relaxing in this life situation feels very difficult


I run around, things falling on my head…and money is the key to everything. 

If I find money, which way ever, I am a good nice lovely person. If I dont, I am a bad, criminal bastard who is no good and should be banned. I do not eat, live, enjoy, am not an acceptable person in any way. Not invited to anyone, not getting presents, should actually go and hide as long as I cannot solve my money problems.

So yes, it feels my head explodes. First time in my life I have high blood pressure. I dont want to eat medicine, trying to calm down instead but difficult.

Things a guy should not wear this summer

Watch out what you wear, there is a huge risk you can be sexually harrassed if going out in too short shorts. For your safety, walk in groups. You never know what the girls are capable of. 

Wise words

How did the world become like this???

Sowell

Experience and wisdom go hand in hand – and are so needed

meryl

The latest days I have been very much thinking about my strengths and weaknesses. I feel I am a person in her best age, just now able to do anything and do it well. I have learned EVERYTHING and could use the massive amount of experience for good. The best and more capable working people I know are women 45+ and in a funny way, it is just the group the working life wants to kick out. Why? Because the kids want to have cool jobs, play office and it is disturbing if someone like mum is there….it is not as easy to feel like a big male boss, do you think?

My generation failed. We were greedy, thinking about ourselves in every turn. Optimizing the job market by kicking out the old ones that did look a bit dusty in our cool settings, never realizing that the experience could provide us something very valuable. We were too young to think like that. We had just come out to working life and it should provide us everything we ever dreamed of because we were the young ones.

It is the same now.  Recruitment consultants are taken directly from the school, they are given curves they have to follow.  The client may say the age of the person that should be recruited and since that is the habit and they mostly are male and traditional, they say about 28 to 35. And the recruiters follow that as a Bible because that is where they get their money.

They recruit people who very recently got out of school, had some years of “adult life”, that are keen but not experienced, mostly formal and following handbooks because they do not know the system themselves and that is what many employers appreciate. A person that does everything that is told,not thinking too much themselves, a robot tied to the company. They are in the years where they should do EVERYTHING at the same time – get married, have kids, take care of them, decorate houses…and most of them are busy on the edge of burnout not being able to do everything well so they cheat their way. The solutions get too  simple, the real experience is missing, everything is started over and over again from the same point and there is no one to tell them that hey, we did exactly the same 20 years ago and it was not working, this is the reasons why – because all the experience is kicked out.

The people +45, especially are in their best working age and especially women who had family, have worked alot and are maestros in finding practical solutions to almost anything. They really can, know and have learned about their mistakes. The children are big and they are perfect workers. Still in good health, with lots of time and energy to put in the work. They are also the best organizators and project managers you can think of, the normal men are not anywhere close to that…but since the males have traditionally been in working life and women kept at home, the system is still built the way that men believe in men and young hang with young. The system is too old fashioned for the demands of today.

So the most experienced working people are kicked out when a bunch of arrogant kids with no experience take over. And it is my generations fault. We, as parents, have put our life and money to get good things for our kids, tried to teach them, help them, say they are good (even if they weren´t) and found some work for them even if they maybe were not so brilliant at everything. Then they took over the system, hired their friends and kicked us out like used gloves, not understanding where we could be good any more – because it takes experience to see that!!

The same time as everyone talks about people needing to work longer….but how could they if they are kicked out already when under 50? Somehow the stupid dream picture in the advertising world we created to sell products, where everyone always is 17, has taken over the brain of all generations. My generation is ashamed we are not 17 even if in real life we would not like to be 17….we are so much more now. We can, understand, are able…and the vain world is punishing us for our age number the same time taking in people who are totally blanco in head but look right for the “cool model” we created for selling products, not to be believed in as a life philosophy.

The young age thinks it knows it all, is black and white and cruel against all exceptions, has models in head they think they must follow and puts up systems where people have to look good but feel bad. Experience gives more flexibility, more understanding, more wisdom, more ability to avoid doing the same mistakes again and gives more room for the personalities and developing people so they can be their best selves.

In China only the age was appreciated, in western countries only the young age and looks. We should find a combination in between but the recent trend of not valuing the inside, only looking at the outside is really dangerous and I promise I try to fight it with all my power and skills.

I was thinking of beginning like….now.

 

I became a minimalist and I hate it

For years I have moved houses alot. All those years I dragged around a huge pile of furniture, personal stuff, memories, inherited things, clothes (oh so much clothes) and decided that some day when the kids dont need so many toys, when I am not afraid to put away the old things (that I had to keep if we cannot afford to buy new ones and need them)…then I become a minimalist. In my empty fantastic home with only a lovely sofa,  a huge TV set and one exquisite orchid by the window, a big soft bed and an expensive chair in the bedroom, I live a happy, relaxed life.

I put away alot of stuff, moved to empty apartments and tried to become a minimalist. It was not me, I felt empty, lost.

I missed the old things my relatives had touched, the cup my grandmother used to drink from, the chair my dad loved, the vase where Jenny always had her finest flowers. I realized that I connected people with things and needed to surround me with old, loved things to feel safe.

I lived in an old house where everyone was related to me. We felt fun and safe. Then it all changed, everyone from there died and I am alone. The only thing I have left from there is things, their things. So even if it feels stupid, I need those things, the things my loved ones touched and liked.  I truly hate being a minimalist. It feels like a cold and lonely life.

10 things they say make a happy couple

I live in London now. This is  a very traditional society that the same time wants to be modern in some things like advertising, TV, arts, fashion…but the family values are old fashioned.

The place seems to think that the main idea of a womans life to find  “a good man”. Which means the man should be a bit older than her, a bit taller than her, very rich and not beat her. If these are ok, he is acceptable and the dream guy. There is no looks demands like in Scandinavia, the thick wallet wins them all.

When you have found your Mr. Right, you then  jump in, take your roles as Mr. and Mrs. and begin playing the Happy Couple  – because that is what everyone here wants to be. The happy couple is always together, jumps through life hand in hand. Eats together, sleeps together, sits on sofa together watching movies, has a cup of tea together. If the other part is more than 10 meters from you, everyone is asking “where is your wife/where is your husband.” Living like that is called happily ever after…

I am a Scandinavian and have luckily always been able to be my own individual person, instead of being counted in couples, like here.  Being single here is not considered something that is nice, free and enjoyable (as I think) (even if they say so to be polite). Instead it is something you should get rid of as soon as possible and even if they of course never say it, they think not “managing to bind down” someone is really a sign of a loser.

If I  say that since I have been married a couple of times and living together a couple of times and meeting many people, I just want to keep my freedom because I love deciding myself, they actually do not believe it even if they nod and smile. Because in their world, a marriage is the main target of every ladys life….yes you read it, a womans target and while a  man should try to avoid it until someone “catches” him???

This is what one magazine said are things that make a “happy couple”.

1. They to bed the same time

When living with my ex. I wanted to write during the evening and night, he wanted to go to bed early…..he woke up early and I did not want to be woken up very early in the morning if I absolutely do not have to.  He made a big number out of me not coming to bed the same time as him (even if our love life was otherwise very good)..and  when I was sleeping the best, he woke up and was irritating happy trying to wake me up.

I trulty detest people who are too happy too early in the morning. ..grr.

2. They have, or find, common interests

Of course some shared interests are good (like watching Downton Abbey or playing cards) but not the Scottish way where the “happy couple” are never more than five meters from each other. The happy couple sits on the sofa the same time, goes to shop together, sits in the car together, watches tv together, turns brain-dead together because no other interests than common ones are allowed. And if you go to the city without your other half, everyone you meet will ask “Where is your husband?” “Where is your wife?”. I have really difficult when someone considers me as “half a couple”, not as my own person.

3. They touch each other

It is nice to touch each other, hold hands, hug or cuddle, buy small presets but even if you like each other very much it is not nice for others sitting by the same table with couples eating each others faces in public. Get a room!

4. They dont fight over meaningless things

Everybody does, dont they? But rather than fighting, talk.

5. They kiss each other good bye and say I love you

It is important that people feel loved and appreciated. Small things make a big difference.

6. They dont forget to give attention to each other

Never be too busy to give some attention to each other. Be happy if you love someone and they love you back. That does not mean you have to own them or they have to own you, but treasure the good moments.

7. They have date nights

it is important not to forget to talk to each other but if you do the things only for Instagram, forget it. Do it just for each other. Give attention, put your best outfit on for him / her, invest in each other if you like each other. Is it not natural to do this if you really do?

8. They break routines

A relation should not feel like a routine. If everything does look the same all the time, change it. Be spontaneous, surprise each other!

9. They put away their phones and see each other

Put away your phones, look at each other, focus on each other, relax together. You do not have to look at Facebook every 15 minutes. Talk.

So now you are a happy couple. Then what?

 

Beautiful and strong

Pregnant

Stress relief   

It is about the time to move mountains

The best surprise of the last days has been Angela Merkels acting. It takes a woman to say: “If we can save the banks, we can save the people”. The men use to concentrate on saving banks and leaving the people suffering.

In Iceland, after the guys had totally f-ed up the whole country economy and fleed the responsibility, at last women could get power. They used the power to save the families and let the banks fall down. As a result Iceland recovered faster than ever and has got a healthy economy and happy people again.

We need more female world leaders. The boys really cant handle it.

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